My pussy is not your playground.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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