toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
