theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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