Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
