I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
