i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He has the fingertips of a God
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize