I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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