On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
