3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
