the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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