Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
