take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
