I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
