I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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