people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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