My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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