And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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