She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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