In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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