I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
