So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
