it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
