i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
