not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
