so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
