some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize