..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
