Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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