they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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