holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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