He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
