Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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