HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
