Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I love you.
Bad choice
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