Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
