well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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