her vagine was all disorganized.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
