You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize