Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
