it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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