Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
