ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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