Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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