YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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