she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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