The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize