Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
