i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize