Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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