I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
