I hate your face
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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