the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
3 2 1 whiskey
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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