I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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