U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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