I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
