My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
