i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
