Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
