Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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