i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
