Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
