I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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