I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize