Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
