Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
