one might say we're banned from that church
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
