I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
