We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
