shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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