i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
